It won't be long before our one year old figures out how to open his safety gate.
For the past three weeks, since Benjamin officially turned one year old, he has been keeping us busy with his burgeoning personality, strong will, and exploratory missions around the house. The best way to explain who Benjamin is at this age is to give you glimpses into his daily routine. Like me, he is all about structure and knowing what to expect from his days. At 12 months, Benjamin weighs 18 lbs. and is 29 1/8 inches tall. That puts him in the 3% for weight, and 25-50% for height. He’s still our tall, skinny boy! Here’s a detailed look at his daily life, complete with his likes, dislikes, and glimpses of his personality.
Waking Up Time:
Benjamin usually wakes up around 8 a.m. Our first clue that he is awakening is a soft sort of “mmmm” over the monitor. If he is well-rested, this soon turns into happy chatter, but if he had a fitful night, it may lead to quiet crying which eventually lulls him back to sleep for a few minutes. When he’s happy, he can entertain himself in the crib for quite awhile, giving me time to get a few things done before I start my day with him. When he’s ready for me to come get him, he sweetly says, “Mama. Mama. Mama…,” over and over again. When I open the door, I find him standing and jumping up and down at the end of his crib closest to the door, and I’m rewarded for my entrance with a sweet smile.
Bottle Time:
Benjamin has made it known that he is not interested in drinking his milk from a sippy cup yet, much less in drinking cold milk. So, although he is very much a toddler while he is playing, when it comes to drinking his milk, he is still very much a baby. I serve him his milk in a bottle, I heat it in the bottle warmer (although I have managed to get him used to slightly cooler than room temperature milk now), and I hold the bottle for him – he’s still not interested in holding the bottle himself. I don’t mind pampering him in these ways. It has made the transition from breastfeeding to bottle feeding easier on me. I still get to cuddle with him on the sofa. While I’m doing all the hard work of holding the bottle, Benjamin enjoys playing with his feet, reaching out to touch Chloe’s fur (she’s usually lounging on the sofa next to us), or sticking his fingers in my mouth and laughing when I pretend to gobble them up. We enjoy these milk-drinking times together 4 or 5 times a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime, and sometimes an afternoon snack). I suppose in the coming weeks I will gradually introduce the sippy cup as a replacement for the bottle, but as long as he isn’t drinking from a bottle when he’s a pre-schooler, I’m not in too big a rush.
Meal Time:
We always start Benjamin’s meals with a bottle of milk in the living room, but once he’s finished drinking, I put him in his high chair for the food portion. Breakfast almost always includes oatmeal, accompanied by either yogurt or fruit. At lunch he has a vegetable and a fruit. His afternoon snack varies from fruit to corn puffs to fresh avocado. And dinner includes a baby food entree (meat, veggies, and pasta/rice) and some fruit. There is always an entertainment aspect to meal time. Sometimes that involves me singing and making a fool of myself. Other times I turn on Seinfeld and laugh a lot at the jokes while Benjamin laughs at me for laughing (or at Elaine just for appearing on the screen – for some reason he finds her very amusing). Ever since Benjamin’s birthday party, his birthday balloon has been attached to his high chair, so sometimes he plays with that in between bites of food. So far, he doesn’t make a huge mess with his food. Maybe that’s because I keep a washcloth nearby, or maybe it’s because he’s not feeding himself yet, or maybe it’s a little of both.
Brad teaches Benjamin how to play his new drum.
Play Time:
Benjamin is very predictable in some ways. For example, I know that every morning after I give him his bottle, when I put him down on the floor, he will crawl over to his toys on the hearth and immediately take the lid off of his drum and pick up one of the drumsticks. He will then crawl around the room with the drumstick in his hand while he decides what to do next. Apparently Benjamin feels more content if he has a toy in his hands at all times that he is crawling. Sometimes it’s a drumstick, others a block, others the doorstop from Brad’s office door…
In addition to carrying things around with him, you can always expect to see Benjamin dance when he hears music, whether it’s from one of his toys, a commercial on tv, or someone singing. His version of dancing involves vigorously shaking his head back and forth, bouncing up and down, and chest pumping (not sure this is a real term, but the best way I know to describe it). It’s very cute. He also enjoys making music with us – sometimes by playing the drum, others by “singing,” and others by shaking the tambourine.
Benjamin still loves to play in his playroom, especially in the morning right after breakfast. He entertains himself by looking out the window, taking blocks in and out of a storage box, exploring the various musical toys, and throwing toys over the gate while shouting “uh-oh” to get my attention (that’s the sign that he’s ready for me to come play with him). One night I was washing dishes after dinner, and I had a perfect view of Benjamin in the playroom. When he looked up and noticed me watching him, he smiled real big and waved at me. I, of course, smiled and waved right back. He then went right back to playing. In the past if he saw me watching him, he would expect me to come get him. What a big boy he’s becoming!
Nap Time:
I am thrilled that Benjamin is still taking two naps a day. Generally speaking, one is between 10 a.m. and noon, the other between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. We still “half” swaddle him (from the chest down), and then sing him the “I Love You” lullabye before putting him in his crib. If he needs help settling down, we read him a book, but usually it’s enough just to swaddle, sing, and snuggle a couple of minutes before laying him down. If we’re lucky, he says “nigh nigh” and rolls over and falls asleep within minutes of us closing the door. More often, it takes him awhile to settle down completely. In these instances, he’ll chew his hand for awhile, talk to himself, and have a couple minutes of mild crying before he gives in to sleep.
The worst cases are when he simply won’t settle down. The moment we lay him down, he hops right up and starts bouncing around his crib, chattering happily. I’ll wait five minutes, then return and repeat the naptime routine (swaddle, sing, snuggle) up to four or five times if necessary. If he’s still awake after 30 or 45 minutes, I give up and bring him out of his room. Sometimes he just needs to “play it out” 30 minutes and then will take his nap. Other times we just lose that nap time. Thankfully, these “worst case” nap situations only happen on rare occasions.
This rocking chair once belonged to my older sister Cara, and it has managed to survive all of Mom and Dad's children and grandchildren. Now it's Benjamin's turn!
Pushing the Limits:
In the past month, we have seen Benjamin become more strong-willed, opinionated, and rebellious. It’s been quite a shock to our systems to see our gentle baby turn into a fiery, spirited toddler. This is no more apparent than at meal times (see “Dinner Time” below), but no matter what time of day it is, Benjamin isn’t shy about making his feelings known. If I pick him up when he’s in the middle of playing, I can expect back arching and screaming. If I leave the room before he’s ready for me to, more screaming. If he’s tired of being in his car seat, again with the high-pitched screaming. I suppose this is the only way he knows to make his point, but it can be quite grating, especially if I am already feeling tired or overwhelmed.
Aside from Benjamin’s new form of communicating his unhappiness, he is also starting to push back when we tell him not to do something. The main source of his limit testing is the area around our television. We are consistent about asking him not to push the buttons on the sound system, and not to open the cabinet and take Wii supplies out. We do, however, allow him to stand at the tv and pick up the various remote controls (he hasn’t learned how to use them yet), as long as he doesn’t put the remotes in his mouth. I finally wised up and took all the Wii stuff out of the cabinet, so I think he will now lose interest in it. But he knows exactly what he is doing when he defies us – the glance in our direction, the glint in his eye, the muttering of “uh-uh” under his breath. We’re currently working on a discipline strategy, which will most likely involve time outs. I’m skeptical about one book’s suggestion to use a series of “clap-growls” to get his attention and let him know I mean business. I’m thinking I’ll adapt that technique to something that doesn’t sound as ridiculous. If I were to growl, he would just laugh and growl right back (he does a very impressive bear impersonation).
Benjamin looks proud of his new, big boy car seat.
Getting Out of the House:
Like me, Benjamin loves to get out of the house. Whether it’s the grocery store or the gym, he is interested in checking everything out and seeing something besides the same old stuff at home. He went through a brief phase of separation anxiety a few weeks ago, when I would leave him at the church or gym nursery, but now he seems to have returned to his casual attitude – “Mom’s leaving? No big deal. I’m just happy to be out of the house.”
He is, however, quite opinionated when it comes to strangers. Some people he takes to right away, whereas others he watches carefully and gets concerned if they attempt to hold him. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to his preferences. Maybe some people just give him a bad vibe. But he loves to see familiar faces, whether it’s his aunts, uncles, and cousins, our friends, or the ladies at the gym Kid’s Club. His most common signs of affection are sticking his fingers in someone’s mouth or head butting them. Yep, he’s a boy.
Benjamin is very intrigued by his cousin Jude.
I’ve noticed Benjamin is happier if we leave the house together at least once a day. This can be a walk in the neighborhood or a trip to Target. The change of scene refreshes him, just like it refreshes me!
Dinner Time:
I’ve already described Benjamin’s typical meal time experience, but I wanted to add some thoughts about our family dinner time. We usually eat around 6:30, assuming I’ve managed to prepare me and Brad’s meal while simultaneously keeping Benjamin happy (sometimes we have to eat after he’s been fed). If Benjamin has a cranky time of day, it’s from 6:30 to bathtime. At this time of the evening, he thinks everything should be about him. So, if Brad and I try to have a conversation at the dinner table, Benjamin will scream until I turn toward him and give him another bite of food. If I pay more attention to my plate of food than to his spoon and food, more screaming. In fact, the only way to keep him happy (and quiet) at dinner is to constantly give him attention, or to put some corn puffs or Cheerios on his tray. Now, this scenario is more common when he hasn’t napped well during the day. So when he is well rested, it isn’t so bad. But we are trying to figure out a way to communicate to him that dinner time is family time, not just Benjamin time. Any suggestions?
Bath Time:
Bath time is one of my favorite times of day with Benjamin. No matter how fussy he may be during and after dinner, the moment we sit him down in the water, he is all smiles and giggles. Because of this, we tend to make his baths last a long time (when we’re not running behind schedule, that is). No part of Benjamin’s day is more structured than his bath. Brad and I may have slight variations in our bath repertoires, but on my night (we take turns bathing him every other night) I always wash his face, then his hair, then the rest of him. After the actual cleaning, I always say, “Are you readdddy?” and he turns excitedly to look at his trio of fish toys that are sitting on the edge of the tub. For the next several minutes, we play with those fish. I feel them up with water and squirt him, he throws them in the water and then fishes them out, etc. When it’s time to put them away, I pick up each fish, one at at time, and tell him to “give it a kiss.” He does so and then hands me the fish, at which point we “say bye bye” to the fish and put them back in their place. While the water starts to drain, Benjamin kicks his legs and splashes the water with his hands. This final burst of enthusiasm acts to release any remaining energy he has built up from the day. By the time I’ve wrapped him in his towel, “presented” him to Brad (“look at the clean baby!”), and start getting him dressed, he is super relaxed and ready to call it a night. Mission accomplished!
Bed Time:
We usually start the bed time routine around 8:30. This is a good place to mention a funny little thing that he’s started doing. Sometimes I put on lip balm right before I give him his bottle, and he has started imitating the way I smack my lips together afterward. So as we walk to the sofa, we are both smacking our lips over and over again. I guess he likes the way it sounds, and likes imitating me. I give Benjamin a bottle of milk in the living room, and it usually doesn’t take him long to drink it. For the next few minutes, we snuggle and act silly. Sometimes I settle him down by gently tickling his face and arms. Other times we play “The Name Game,” fondly referred to by Benjamin as “da da.” The rules to this game are very simple. Benjamin grabs my hand and touches it to my chest, and I say “Mama.” If he touches his chest, I say “Benjamin.” If he touches Daddy, I say “Daddy.” If Chloe, “Chloe.” Etc. So basically, he does the pointing or touching, and I do the talking. He could play this game endlessly. He smiles and laughs the whole time.
After our fun, games, and snuggles, one or both of us carries him to bed, sings him the “I Love You” song, and then puts him in his crib. Most nights, he immediately bounces up, stands up, leans over the front of the crib, and gives us kisses. But if he is exhausted, he skips this part and just rolls over to go to sleep. We’ve always been lucky when it comes to Benjamin’s bed time. He usually falls asleep within a couple of minutes, and even on the nights when he talks to himself for 15 minutes, we rarely have to go in and tell him to settle down. He loves his sleep! We’ll hope it stays that way.
Word Time:
Seriously, I’m almost finished. I just thought I’d mention what words Benjamin has in his vocabulary at this age:
- Ma Ma and Da Da
- Bye bye (or nigh nigh), used interchangeably
- Bah bah (bottle)
- Ba (ball)
- Na! (an exclamation when he is mildly surprised or pleased by something)
- Uh-oh (his first word, he doesn’t say it nearly as often now)
- Uh-uh (it used to be cute when he would say this and stop doing something wrong, but now he says it and keeps misbehaving)
Benjamin and Mama C share a moment.
Whether he’s being sweet or misbehaving, sleeping or playing, eating or whining, we love our growing boy through it all!
